Independence

Most of you who know me well, know me as an independent, strong willed, go-getter sort of gal (mother do you know where I get this?? Haha!).  If I set my mind to something I am going to do it. I don't always follow the norm. I'm used to doing what I want, when I want.  Although I still find myself always trying to please others and do things to satisfy them, sometimes over my own happiness. This trip is an example of a step of my independence. I wanted to do it, so I did. Since I have been over here though...I feel I have been lacking indepedence or not being able to express my independence fully. I don't do anything on my own and I hardly have any alone time.  I have another person to check in with and constantly be aware of. (I truly enjoy your presence Cailin! It's just been a change for me!).  We live together, work together, and do everything together.  Again, if I didn't have Cailin, I think I would feel very alone. This past week I started something new...something I've never done before....getting up extra early! I've always been someone who sleeps until the last minute...and then rushes to where I have to be.  I figured that since I can't sleep well here anyway, especially in the mornings, I might as well get up! I leave to bike to school by about 7:30 every morning. Unfortunately, it is already getting warm at that time! I've really been enjoying this morning, alone time.  I would do just about anything for a cool, crisp morning air though! Another thing that I have been craving and desperately wanting is a good thunderstorm!  Maybe during their monsoon/rainy season?  I can only hope!

A vice of this personality is that I don't like to ask for help often because I think I can do things on my own. I think it's important to know when to ask for help. This experience thus far has been a blessing because it has taught me to ask for help. I don't know everything (yes, I admitted it mom and dad!). Being here has made me sometimes feel I don't know anything! It's a humbling, yet necessary experience to ask for help and I feel I ask for help alot here! The last two months have been draining on my being, trying to get accustomed to this new culture, communicating through the language barrier in the classroom, and just figuring out how things work. Thankfully, it gets a bit easier every day. We only have end of year tests left at school and then we leave to travel for 7 weeks.  I am very excited for the new school year in May. I feel alot more confident than I did 2 months ago and know that I am over the hump and look forward to learning more and more about teaching strategies and how to be effective in the classroom.  

As I mentioned before I feel that they expect alot out of us and expect us to do miraculous things. I have been extremely overwhelmed and stressed the past couple weeks trying to fulfill the things they ask of me. I have decided that it's a bit irrational...but, because of this darn personality of mine, I will still do everything in my power to accomplish everything I can so as to not let them down!  I feel that after this experience I should be able to put "miracle worker" on my resume!  One thing I know for sure is that I definitely know how to do lesson planning after the past month! Even though it's been stressful, I feel it has been very helpful and I've learned alot. They really make you go through every step and think about the objectives and if they are being met through the knowledge and the process.
I feel that we have been made to feel a bit guilty about leaving for 7 weeks to travel, even though it is during their holiday school break. They keep saying, if its "necesary" for you to go. Or James has mentioned how Americans need to travel. I have often wondered while I've been over here, how people make it by. Alot of people have food stands and it is so cheap I wonder how they can make any money. James said he's never been out of Thailand. I have gathered that most of the people here (except those with money of course) do what they can to get by and don't have their goal in life being to make alot of money. They have a roof over their head, food to eat and their families. Do we really need much more than that in life? So I had a few moments of guilt for wanting to travel...that is was maybe unecessary.  The whole point of me wanting to come here was to experience a new culture and to learn from them and I feel that if I made the effort to come half way across the world, I should take it what I can!
This next picture is of some veggies we bought at a market. For all of that it was about $2!

Every morning when I bike to school I see the same lady at this stop light who goes around to the cars and motor bikes trying to sell these flower arrangements that you hang on your vehicle. I assumed it had something to do with Buddhism. One morning when I was biking to school early, I decided to buy one. Maybe I thought it would help me fit it! When James got to school later I asked him what they were for. He said that it is a cultural thing, not Buddhist. Thais believe that objects have spirits. The flowers are a way to thank the spirits and it is supposed to give you protection. I asked if locals would get offended if I had one hanging from my bicycle because I'm a farang. He assured me not.

One of our students has been coming to the pool we go to and we have had a chance to get to know her mother a bit. Her mom invited us to supper one night. She picked us up at our house and inside the car was her and her husband, and their 4 daughters! The daughters ages ranged from 4 to 11. They took us out for pizza! How many of you can say you've had shrimp cocktail pizza! It was actually pretty tasty! The mother also told us that she wanted to pay for our membership to the pool every month. I was overwhelmed with her generosity.  An interesting experience that I had while we were waiting for our pizza is that the oldest girl, 11, pulled out a book to read. So, I started reading it.  After about a page in, the mom said something to her in Thai, and I realized that she was supposed to read it to me! I was very impressed with the English skills that she had. It was only every now and then I had to help her or correct her on a word. 

I will end with one final experience that Cailin and I had over the weekend. Friday night we were going to find a new place to eat. We stopped by this one place and realized that they didn't have English on their menus and they didn't have Pad Thai or Kao Pad (fried rice), which are the only foods we can say inThai at this point! We came to another place that had a lady singing up on stage. We had rode by their many times, so thought we would check it out. We asked if they served food and they did. It didn't take us long to realize that this place was highly populated with lady boys (women who used to be men!).  I think I mentioned before that this is a HUGE thing in Thailand. A few of them were very friendly and the one spoke very good English, so it was an interesting and new dining experience!